How do we treat those who are serving us in our community?

There is a raging debate in my apartment complex whether volunteers who come forward and give their time to the community can be sensitive to criticism and resign if they feel insulted or let down.

What do you think?

Should volunteers have a thick skin and ignore all insults, criticisms and rude behaviour thrown at them by a section of residents who are vocal and vociferous?

Or are they allowed to have feelings and succumb to them and step aside from their roles?

I'm unable to buy this argument.

I believe that criticism when conveyed with sensitivity is acceptable and actually welcome. And it is not going to hurt the receiver.



However the same criticism thrown with anger and personal attacks can irreparably harm the relationship and poison the air so much that no meaningful work can be done after that.



So, why does someone then, adopt such a behavior? What could be the possible reasons that could influence someone to adopt this behavior as against a more peaceful and productive approach?

• Is it that the person is genuinely displeased with the words, actions or approach of the volunteer and does not know how else to express himself/herself? If so, there is hope that they can learn and change for the better.
• Is it that the person is hoping to intimidate and cow down the other person to prove his superiority? Is so, then it's going to be more difficult for this person to change his/her behaviour.
• Is it that the person is hoping that by such actions the other person will back down and they can have their way without any impediment to their own plans? If so, there is no hope at all.
• Is it that they are paving their way to be undisputed leaders of this tribe and call all the shots without any opposition? Absolutely no hope of any change.

Anger, one-up manship, I'm-right-you're-wrong approach, seems so tribal, animalistic and anachronistic in today's cooptive world which has coined the term win-win. Countries, companies, religions, castes, and creeds are all choosing to cooperate and work together rather than being confrontational. The world is benefiting from this change and our economic prosperity is directly linked to this new behaviour.

When will we individuals too learn to adopt this approach of living and let live so that we can all have a more peaceful, productive and happy life?

In last week's meeting an elderly person who had contributed immensely to this community in a short time was insulted and harangued by a couple of people who were much younger. At the least we should respect his age and experience. Anyone with a shred of self respect would not lower themselves in such a manner as it happened that day.

I was torn with remorse in being a spectator to this ugly sight and had to go through the motions of completing the meeting without further contributing to this pathetic drama of one-upmanship perpetrated by this small group.

What magic wand is there which can heal this group and make them tolerant and friendly with each other?